Self-sabotage: what’s behind and how to finally get over it!
For many years I had a problem: self-sabotage. I worked really hard to achieve my goals, and right before reaching them, something “was always happening” and pushed me away, forcing me to quit.
I gathered a lot of frustration because the scenario was constantly repeating: self-sabotage. It was like life played the same movie regularly but in a different moment.
I was so close. Everything was working so perfectly, and at the last moment, something happened, and the bomb exploded. And I was back to the starting point, with more pain and one extra wound.
It took me a lot of time to understand that the conscious and the subconscious mind must work together in order to reach my dreams.
After I understood that, I felt a massive release in my body. The horror film I was in suddenly stopped, and the noise converted into pure silence.
As an NLP Trainer, I am passionate about how the mind works, and I will tell you a bit about this process:
With your conscious mind, you plan, create strategies, and measure results.
With your subconscious mind, you connect to your creative side, the emotional world, and all past experiences.
Because some past experiences were not nice, even traumatic, the mind created programs to keep you safe, not suffer, and not feel emotional pain again. They were good at that moment but not productive in the long term.
You can work as much as possible to reach one objective, but if you have such a program installed in your subconscious, you will eventually self-sabotage yourself. Ultimately, you will be frustrated and blame other people, chance, luck, karma, your boss, or even the government.
For example, if you want a promotion, and something always happens before getting it, it may be a program in your mind, a belief that tells you that a promotion means extra working time. Suppose you are a person that wants that time for different activities or to spend it with family or friends. In that case, you will always self-sabotage from achieving that promotion.
If you want a relationship, but in your mind, a relationship is associated with losing your freedom, you will never get too close to a person and leave if a connection gets too intimate.
If you want to reach an amount of money and in your mind, you believe that rich people are selfish or evil, imagine what will happen. Do you think you will ever be rich?
To understand and remove self-sabotage, the program you have installed in your subconscious, use this method and ask yourself these questions:
Why wouldn’t I want to achieve XYZ?
How would my life change if XYZ happened?
Why don’t I want the life of someone who already has XYZ?
Yes, these questions may seem awkward, and no answers will come in the beginning.
Don’t trust my words. Test it for yourself!
Take a piece of paper, a pen and give yourself time. 30 minutes. One hour. Stay with your paper and your thoughts. You will be surprised what answers will come.
After you have written a few possible answers, it is time to fix the programs that kept holding you back.
How do you do that?
Well, take each answer one by one, and find a solution, a strategy to fix the problem. Imagine that the unwanted situation is in the present moment, and you must deal with it. How would you do that? Start writing what steps you would take.
When the subconscious mind installed those programs, you had some knowledge. Now you have way more experience and can deal with the situation in many other ways and find other options.
Self-sabotage: don’t get blocked in the present with problems from your past – just find solutions to these questions.
Why wouldn’t I want to achieve XYZ?
How would my life change if XYZ happened?
Why don’t I want the life of someone who already has XYZ?
If you’re interested in personal growth and reaching your dreams, the NLP Practitioner course in English in Munich / München is a perfect fit. Over a weekend, you’ll understand how to remove self-sabotage with numerous practical examples and have the guidance to apply this knowledge most effectively.
Additionally, if you’re interested in how the mind works, NLP neuro-linguistic programming, Coaching or communication, drop me a line, and I’ll tell you more. Also, if you want to do a private coaching session in nature, feel free to read about my other project where you become one with the mountains, here!
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